Being a Menace to Society: 25 and Single in the LDS Church

Being a Menace to Society:

                I just turned 25 years old today and got to thinking about my current status of being “single”. So, what is it like to be 25 years old and not married? Well depends on whether you are part of the world or a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. If you are part of the world, you are still young and have PLENTY of time to get married. No rush, No worries!

However, I, being a member of the LDS faith can now be classified as a “menace to society”! Brigham Young once said… “Any young man who is unmarried at the age of twenty five is a menace to society”.

                But wait… did he REALLY say that? I searched the web and came back empty handed! Sure the quote exists, but it uses any age from 21-30 in place of “25”, however it does seem as if “25” is the most popular age used in the quotes… the problem? There is never a source to any of the quotes!

                I did find one interesting piece of the “puzzle”… On May 31, 1963, speaking at the Commencement Exercises as President of Brigham Young University, Ernest Wilkinson stated:

                "Of the men graduating tonight, 62 per cent are married; 38 per cent unmarried. Of the 472 women graduating, 23 per cent are married; 77 per cent single. As to the single men, I need merely to repeat the admonition attributed to Brigham Young, “Every man not married and over twenty-five is a menace to the community.” I asked Dr. Lyman Tyler yesterday if he would document this for me, but he said he had been trying to document it for years; he had given up, so you will have to accept it either on faith, or as apocryphal."

                So there you have it! It might have never been said by Brigham Young, but is it encouraged in the LDS church to be married by that age? Not exactly, but the principle is the same…. MARRIAGE is important and is not something that should be put off forever!

                Upon careful research I found a little more into the statement,  and something that can actually be verified as being true! George Q. Cannon, a church apostle, said in 1878: “I am firmly of the opinion that a large number of unmarried men, over the age of 24 years, is a dangerous element in any community.…”

                So wait, I have already been a menace for a year?!?! So confusing! But now I can really reflect on how it is to be 25, Single and LDS. Let me tell you that the feeling is not great. The church pushes marriage so much, because without marriage so many blessings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ can be forfeited. While being single in the LDS church is not easy, and makes the entire experience an extreme test of faith… I must remember that…

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace… He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the workthat God maketh from the beginning to the end… I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him… for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-17)

For now I just have to stay positive and know that God has a purpose for everything, and sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to go. But in the end God will reward those who were faithful in this life or the next.

Job 7-8

Job 7-8

Scripture Thought (What I Learned):

Chapter 7: What is our time on earth?

                “Is there not an appointed time to man upon earth? …As a servant earnestly desireth the shadow, and as an hireling looketh for the reward of his work: So am I made to possess months of vanity, and wearisome nights are appointed to me.When I lie down, I say, When shall I arise, and the night be gone? and I am full of tossings to and fro unto the dawning of the day. My flesh is clothed with worms and clods of dust; my skin is broken, and become loathsome.” (Job 7:1-5)

                Job saw that his suffering was like discouraging work of a servant. He felt that there was no hope or reward for what he was going through. He suffered from a skin condition and long nights of insomnia.

“My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle, and are spent without hope…mine eye shall no more see good… As the cloud is consumed and vanisheth away: so he that goeth down to the grave shall come up no more. He shall return no more to his house, neither shall his place know him any more.” (Job 7:6-10)

                Job, at this point was seeing life as meaningless and worthless.

“Therefore I will not refrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. Am I a sea, or a whale, that thou settest a watch over me? When I say, My bed shall comfort me, my couch shall ease my complaint; Then thou scarest me with dreams, and terrifiest me through visions: So that my soul chooseth strangling, and death rather than my life. I loathe it; I would not live alway: let me alone; for my daysare vanity.” (Job 7:11-16)

Job cried out to God, wondering if he was some sort of monster, like that of the sea. Job is telling God to stop or end his life, because he hates what he is going through.

 “What is man, that thou shouldest magnify him? and that thou shouldest set thine heart upon him?And that thou shouldest visit him every morning, and try him every moment? How long wilt thou not depart from me, nor let me alone till I swallow down my spittle? I have sinned; what shall I do unto thee, O thou preserver of men? why hast thou set me as a mark against thee, so that I am a burden to myself? And why dost thou not pardon my transgression, and take away mine iniquity? for now shall I sleep in the dust; and thou shalt seek me in the morning, but I shall not be” (Job 7:17-21)

Job is mad at God for not curing him of his pain. He asks God if he had sinned, and then asks why he is being punished.

Chapter 8: Our time on earth is short

Bildad makes the argument; if Job was righteous, God would bless and defend him.

                “Then answered Bildad the Shuhite, and said, How long wilt thou speak these things? and how long shall the words of thy mouth be like a strong wind? Doth God pervert judgment? or doth the Almighty pervert justice? If thy children have sinned against him, and he have cast them away for their transgression… If thou wert pure and upright; surely now he would awake for thee, and make the habitation of thy righteousness prosperous.” (Job 8:1-4)

                Bildad did not understand or take into consideration the pain that Job was experiencing. Instead Bildad chastises Job and makes it seem like it is his fault for the way he is and feels… obviously he had sinned. 

“For enquire, I pray thee, of the former age, and prepare thyself to the search of their fathers:” (Job 8:8)

Bildad suggests that Job inquire of wisdom from the past and make things right with his sin. Essentially he is saying; Job, obviously you have sinned… now confess and make things right. But the truth is that Job did nothing.

                “(For we are but of yesterday, and know nothing, because our days upon earth are a shadow:) Shall not they teach thee, and tell thee, and utter words out of their heart? Can the rush grow up without mire? can the flag grow without water?” (Job 8:9-11)

                Here we learn something very important that we can apply in our own lives… We are human, we have come to this earth to learn. But in reality, even with all the science breakthroughs and knowledge we have gained over last few thousand  years… we ultimately know…nothing! God knows all. 

                I normally do not like the New International Version of the Bible (mainly because I believe it is not as accurate and certain means can be lost), but the NIV might make a little more sense;

                “for we were born only yesterday and know nothing,  and our days on earth are but a shadow. Will they not instruct you and tell you? Will they not bring forth words from their understanding? Can papyrus grow tall where there is no marsh? Can reeds thrive without water?” (Job 8:9-11, NIV)

                The scripture goes on to say…

“Whilst it is yet in his greenness, and not cut down, it withereth before any other herb. So are the paths of all that forget God; and the hypocrite’s hope shall perish” (Job 8:12-13)

                While the advice that Bildad was giving was not appropriate for Job, having done nothing wrong. We can learn from this advice! We don’t know everything; we are constantly learning new things daily… so for someone to say that God does not exist is absolutely absurd. Perhaps science has yet to discover him? Don’t get me wrong, I believe in science and I love science. I believe in EVOLUTION, but I also know that science had to come from somewhere… God created science and all the rules of nature. We still have a lot to learn, and having just been born and with such a short time on this earth… our life is but a shadow… and in that shadow we can choose our path. However, if we choose a path that forgets God… we will perish.