Being a Menace to Society: 25 and Single in the LDS Church

Being a Menace to Society:

                I just turned 25 years old today and got to thinking about my current status of being “single”. So, what is it like to be 25 years old and not married? Well depends on whether you are part of the world or a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. If you are part of the world, you are still young and have PLENTY of time to get married. No rush, No worries!

However, I, being a member of the LDS faith can now be classified as a “menace to society”! Brigham Young once said… “Any young man who is unmarried at the age of twenty five is a menace to society”.

                But wait… did he REALLY say that? I searched the web and came back empty handed! Sure the quote exists, but it uses any age from 21-30 in place of “25”, however it does seem as if “25” is the most popular age used in the quotes… the problem? There is never a source to any of the quotes!

                I did find one interesting piece of the “puzzle”… On May 31, 1963, speaking at the Commencement Exercises as President of Brigham Young University, Ernest Wilkinson stated:

                "Of the men graduating tonight, 62 per cent are married; 38 per cent unmarried. Of the 472 women graduating, 23 per cent are married; 77 per cent single. As to the single men, I need merely to repeat the admonition attributed to Brigham Young, “Every man not married and over twenty-five is a menace to the community.” I asked Dr. Lyman Tyler yesterday if he would document this for me, but he said he had been trying to document it for years; he had given up, so you will have to accept it either on faith, or as apocryphal."

                So there you have it! It might have never been said by Brigham Young, but is it encouraged in the LDS church to be married by that age? Not exactly, but the principle is the same…. MARRIAGE is important and is not something that should be put off forever!

                Upon careful research I found a little more into the statement,  and something that can actually be verified as being true! George Q. Cannon, a church apostle, said in 1878: “I am firmly of the opinion that a large number of unmarried men, over the age of 24 years, is a dangerous element in any community.…”

                So wait, I have already been a menace for a year?!?! So confusing! But now I can really reflect on how it is to be 25, Single and LDS. Let me tell you that the feeling is not great. The church pushes marriage so much, because without marriage so many blessings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ can be forfeited. While being single in the LDS church is not easy, and makes the entire experience an extreme test of faith… I must remember that…

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace… He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the workthat God maketh from the beginning to the end… I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him… for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-17)

For now I just have to stay positive and know that God has a purpose for everything, and sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to go. But in the end God will reward those who were faithful in this life or the next.

Ecclesiastes 3-4

Ecclesiastes 3-4

Chapter 3: Everything Has its Season

                In short; Solomon believed that there is a time and place for everything, whether it be good or bad. He believes that you must seek guidance from God to truly know what your path in life is.

                “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) and then Solomon goes on to list all of the things that have a time and season…

                “A time to be born… a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance… A time to rend, and time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time to war and a time of peace.” (Ecclesiastes 3:2-7)

                EVERYTHING has its own time and place. We need to always remember that and take Solomon’s advice that the only thing that a man/woman needs to do is “…to rejoice, and to do good in his [or her] life.” (Ecclesiastes 3:12)

                Solomon’s knowledge and wisdom was a gift from God, Solomon knew that “…whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor anything taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.” (Ecclesiastes 3:14)

                This is yet again another unique LDS doctrine… the idea that anything God does, He does forever. In LDS temples throughout the world we perform sacred sealing ordinances that seal husbands, wives and families together FOREVER. When you marry someone, you marry them for ETERNITY, not just “until death do you part”

                Another interesting point that is made is in verse 15; “That which hath been now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past.” (Ecclesiastes 3:15) I think this verse does the best at explaining what ETERNITY IS. Everything has its TIME and PLACE, right? Well we perceive time differently than God does. To us, Time is relative… From point A to B… whereas Time to God is really a full circle, there is no point A or B… or in other words NO beginning and NO end.

Chapter 4: Strength of 2 Is Better

Solomon believed that going to the extremes of being lazy or a workaholic is foolish and irresponsible. “…yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches…” (Ecclesiastes 4:8) The answer is to work hard but with moderation. He believed that you should take time to enjoy God's other gifts and realize that he gives us assignments and rewards, not man. Solomon believed that a person should seek God's approval above all and not recognition from man.

Solomon also tells us that “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-11)